SECURITY YOU CAN ALMOST COUNT ON

YOU WON'T FIND ANYTHING CHEAPER

WITHOUT BREAKING THE LAW

SECURITY YOU CAN  ALMOST COUNT ON™


YOU WON'T FIND ANYTHING CHEAPER  WITHOUT BREAKING THE LAW

SECURITY-ish

Let’s be real—not all businesses need top-notch security. Sometimes, a warm body is enough. If that checks your boxes, well, friend, GuardLite’s got you covered—kind of.

THE BARE MINIMUM GUARANTEE

We can’t guarantee much beyond showing up, but we can promise you’ll save money.

WHAT WE DO

From standing around to casually strolling the perimeter, our guards provide just enough presence to keep you (sort of) secure.

SEE WHAT WE BARELY DO

HALL OF

MINIMAL EFFORT

HALL OF MINIMAL EFFORT

Shining a light on our guards who go above doing nothing—and that’s saying something.

Peter

The Stay-Awake Champion

Peter made company history by staying awake during his entire 8-hour shift. We’re as shocked as you are.

Debbie

The Eye Contact Specialist

Made eye contact with a visitor in the lobby and even gave a half-hearted nod. That kind of engagement is rare around here. We’re… stunned.

Sung

The Eagle Eye

Sung noticed a loose fence post and reported it. Even we were impressed with that level of attention.

Carl

The Negotiator

Carl spotted a trespasser and asked them to leave. Crisis averted with minimal effort.

CLIENT TESTIMONIALS

Don’t take our word for it—see what our barely-satisfied customers have to say.

I wasn’t sure if anyone was guarding my building, but then I found a guard napping in his car. So, I guess they were there.

Mike

Warehouse Manager

I think they were there... or maybe not. But my construction site didn't get bokren into, so that’s a win!

Adam

Construction Project Managet

GuardLite showed up late, but at least they showed up.

Isabella

Apartment Manager

The guards weren’t great at, you know, ‘guarding,’ but they did keep my chair warm. 10/10 would recommend if you need someone to nap in your office.

Gary

Office Complex Manager

I was honestly surprised by how much my guard could sleep during a shift, but hey, nothing got stolen!

Rohan

Budget-Friendly Business Owner

GuardLite is... affordable. If you just need a warm body in uniform and don't care for quality, they’re your team.

Craig

Self Storage Manager

The guard left early, but he did sit in his car for most of the shift, so... thanks?

Dave

Construction Superintendent

WHY HIRE US

If your standards are low, we’re the perfect match. We’ve got you covered—barely.

Laid-Back Approach

Perfect for low-risk environments where doing less than required is still more than enough.

Transparency

We’re honest. You’re getting what you’re paying for – which, in our case, isn’t much.

Relax, We Are Too

With GuardLite, you can rest easy knowing your guard is probably resting too.

READY TO BE ALMOST PROTECTED?

Drop us a line (just don’t expect a quick reply). We’ll get around to it eventually.

GET A CHEAP QUOTE

FAQ

We get asked these a lot—probably because people aren’t sure what we actually do.

  • What's included in your service?

    A guard in uniform. Sometimes they walk, sometimes they sit.

  • Are your guards well trained?

    Define ‘well.’ They’ve done just enough to be legally allowed to stand around in a uniform.

  • Will the guard patrol my property?

    Patrol is a strong word. Let’s just say they’ll be “around.”

  • Can I trust your security guards?

    Trust? Sure. Expect too much? Maybe not.

  • What makes you different?

    We do less. And we’re proud of it.

  • How fast can your guards respond?

    They move at their own pace. If quick responses are your priority, you might want to lower your expectations.

The GuardLite Gazette

We Pay Guards Peanuts—They Still Stop Crime. Explain That.

By Some Guy Who Counts the Pennies • March 29, 2025
We Pay Guards Peanuts—They Still Stop Crime. Explain That.

Budget Security Myths: No, We’re Not Just Homeless Dudes

By Some Guard Who Can Type • March 29, 2025
Let’s clear the air, folks—GuardLite Security gets a bad rap. People see our guards chilling in flip-flops, eating day-old tacos, and think, “Oh, they just scooped these guys off a park bench and gave ‘em a flashlight.” Wrong. Dead wrong. Okay, maybe 10% right—but hear us out! We’re busting the top myths about budget security, and yeah, we’re gonna ruffle some feathers while we’re at it.

The Minimalist’s Guide to Hiring Security (Hint: It’s Us)

September 22, 2024
A Laid-Back Approach to Keeping Things Sort of Secure

GUARD TESTIMONIALS

Hear from the team that makes low-effort security look easy.

Sometimes I forget I’m working. It’s that chill.

Ahmed

I can’t complain—it’s the easiest job I’ve ever had.

Maria

It’s simple, laid-back, and I get paid. What’s not to love?

Nate

JOIN OUR TEAM

Looking for a job where being lazy is practically a requirement? Welcome to your dream job.

APPLY NOW (OR LATER)
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